What's In A Name?

Ah, the beautiful words of the Bard.  So reflective of our everyday experience, for really, what is in a name?  Well, bugger all actually, because after much consultation, including the work of "expert historians" the Government, in their finite wisdom, have revealed the new super-duper-sparkle-and-shine councils names as:

Belfast, Inner Ear Infection, Easter, Down Under, Weston Park, Top Corner and Other Top Corner.

If we can be Frank Lampard for a moment, we must say that we are stunned with the wonderful historic accuracy that the RPA team have gotten in naming these.  But we have found out that they had a few other options for the names, including:

• Belfast, That one over there, The other one, Thon one, Thon other one, The one near that one and Ballygobackwards.
• Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy and Sneezy.
• Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo, Ip, Dip and Dog shit.

As you will all know, because you will have scoured every word of every page of Random Shite in the past, we were first to reveal the map of the proposed new councils, and we can now exclusively reveal the findings and final layout by the boundary commissioner:

If you have crayons and a sheet of paper, send your suggestions to
those-councils-look-super@randomshite.co.uk