What Students Could Do With £400,000

So it turns out Gerry McKenna, the students friend, cost the University of Ulster Polytech £400,000 in the last year or so. Value for money we're sure you'll agree for a man with such a precocious talent for sculpturing such a subtle and admirable comb-over. We wondered just what your average student could have done with that kind of cash, so we headed off to the Holylands at 3am last night to see what they thought. Unfortunately there were lads from Hamas all over the show dancing about and shooting in the air celebrating something or other, so we decided we'd go try a student area instead.

David, 19 - Marine Biology & Dutch

"I'd definitely spend it on beer, in fact it's only a few hours 'til the pub opens again so I might head back."

1 Gerry McKenna = 170,000 pints of beer.

Janine, 20 - Law & Being A Wanker

"I would pay for my tuition fees. I'm standing for Union President, vote for me because I'm against student fees. My daddy is president of the golf club you know."

1 Gerry McKenna = 340 years worth of tuition fees.

Barry, 23 - Something To Do With Geography

"I'd definitely buy myself a new stereo to play my tapes on."

1 Gerry McKenna = 200 "stereo" systems.

Micky, 15 - Random Spide

"Here mate have ya any fegs? Ya wa? Aw Buckfast."

1 Gerry McKenna = 66,666 Bottles of Buckfast.

Geoff, 19 - Midwifery

"I'm fuckin' starvin'. I'd spend the lot on a kebab on chips from Desperado's."

1 Gerry McKenna = 114,285 Desperado's kebab on chips.

George, 18 - Media & Dropout Studies

"Hey dude, I'd smoke the lot man."

1 Gerry McKenna = 1/4 ton of Mary Jane.

Let us know what you'd do with the £400,000 pissed down the drain
on our mate Gerry at pot-noodles@randomshite.co.uk