What Roy Keane Really Said
In a recent exclusive interview
(yeah we get a lot of those) with Roy Keane, he revealed what he really said about his team mates...
- Not only can Rio Ferdinand not defend, he has a face like a busted sofa and is nowhere near as cool as Franz.
- Paul Scholes has horrible ginger pubes which block up the team bath plug hole after a match and as captain, Roy has to remove them. It's really his own fault though. When Roy removes them, he shouldn't put them in the team bath.
- He also criticised fans for eating pies during games, "If Superman was playing, they wouldn't sit with kryptonite would they? It's just not fair on Wayne Rooney distracting him like that."
- Some of the club's senior players were also not safe from Keane's verbal assault, "George Best was fuckin' rubbish. His dribbling was okay but he hasn't played a decent match for this club in years."
He finished by suggesting a clear-out of players in the January transfer window. Alex Ferguson
agreed that all the club's over paid, past their sell-by date, ego-maniac, wankers would soon be leaving.
In response to this outburst, Chelsea manager and Roman Abramovich's knob cleaner, Jose Mourinho
said, "Roy Keane is rubbish at slagging his own players, he has nothing on Frank Lampard, he knows
how to shame his team mates, Roy is a little boy with a little boy penis. Frank has a man's penis which
stretches far and wide and can scout for foreign players across Europe. Also Arsene Wenger is a voyeur
who likes to look at Frank's man penis. He should concern himself with Robin van Persie's penis
and not Frank Lampard's."
Rio Ferdinand was unavailable to comment as he was too busy laughing all the way to the bank.
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