We Shall Call Him Mini Ming

Chancellor of the Sexchecker, Gordon Brownpants, has once again proved he still has plenty of lead left in his pencil.  The pregnancy wars kicked off between party leaders a few years ago when Tony Blair banged up Cherie in the back of a Renault Cleo.  Fortunately for son Leo, they decided to drop the 'C' but his middle name is still 16v Sport.

PM hopeful Brownpants now has two of his own, while David "I'm not a cunt, honestly" Cameron, racked up his third earlier in the year.  Even erstwhile Lib Dem leader Charles Kennedy proved he had no problem with brewers droop when his wife dropped one out last year.  Local leaders have gotten in on the act too with Mark "Donnie" Durko finding time between finangling fatuously over-finessed phrases to father a sprog during last year's election.

Well that's all good and we're glad to see so much sperm being put to good use, but spare a thought please for those less fortunate, yes we're talking about current Lib Dem leader Ming Campbell.  All these babies flying about is making Ming feel old and unelectable, so we want your help.

Have a look in your wardrobe, maybe in the attic or under the stairs and see if you have any unused babies you can donate to him.  Please give generously.  If Ming has any hope of being elected Prime Minister, and he doesn’t, then he needs your help.

Go on - put a smile back on an old infertile man's face.

Email your babies to
email-a-baby-are-you-fucking-mad@randomshite.co.uk