Veni, Vidi, Victims

An usual event has occurred in Northern Ireland when everyone fell out over someone getting a job.  Petey Hain, Secretary of State for Wales, announced that some woman that nobody has ever heard of is going to look after the job of Victims Commissioner for a few weeks until they appoint a real one.  Angela Smith, who had been the Victims Minister now becomes Minister for Buying Toilet Roll for the Crappers in Stormont Castle.  She is said to be delighted with her promotion, but realises that as this is Northern Ireland, she will still have to deal with shit wherever she goes.

On the Victims Commissioner's appointment, Big Ian said, "Ha, finally one of ours gets a top job after ten minutes of getting nothing."

Reg Empty from the Ulster Unionists said, "The real victim of this has been the hair of Ulster Unionist politicians.  We're all bald as Paul Berry's shaven sack."

The Shinners and the slightly less green, but eating lots of peas party, both said, "Aw come on, that's not fair."

Wee Willie Frazier of the FAIR group said, "IN YOUR FACE FATHER REID! Nationalists should not try and claim a monopoly on victimhood, that's my job."

If you feel victimised by this appointment, we're hear to listen. Well read anyway.
its-not-FAIR@randomshite.co.uk