University of Random Shite Honorary Graduations
What better way to celebrate years of hard work, thousands of pounds invested
in fees, late nights in the Bot library and endless dedication,
than for your university to give away some freebie degrees to some arsehole local
celebrities! Yes that’s you Kielty.
So now that it’s graduation time
we’re getting in on the act and dishing out our very own University of Random
Shite honorary degrees.
- Graeme Poll receives an honorary doctorate in Mathematics, for showing the world that anyone can have a go at maths, they'll probably be wrong, but sure it’s the taking part that counts.
- The Shoukri brothers pick up honorary doctorates for services to the Sunday World and Sunday Life. Without their madcap antics the papers would have to make up some sensation about lap dancers coming to Belfast and retread some old paedophile priest stories. Thanks lads.
- Babs deBrún receives a BSc in Woman’s Studies.
- Sven Goran Eriksson gets an honorary flat pack table for his services to English football. Between servicing a series of women, he also managed to turn England's golden generation into a golden shower.
- Don MacKay gets an honorary degree in English Literature for his ingenious creative writing skills. Sure it's not a real degree Don, but you can put it on your CV anyway.
You all join an illustrious list of alumni, so expect begging letters asking
for alumni membership fees any day now. Want a shite degree? Email
360-degrees@randomshite.co.uk
