Ultimate Darts Player
With both the BDO and PDC World Darts finals over, the debate continues as to who the true world
champion is. Let's pretend for a minute that we don't already know that it's Phil Taylor
and take a look at what the ultimate champion darts player of the universe might look like.
Click on the Ultimate Darts Bloke below to see what he's made of...
1) Eric Bristow
Any great darts player has to have the crafty cockney's nose. Poor Eric got dart-itus, which is
unfortunate for a darts player. Some people think Titus Bramble has football-itus, but no,
he's just shit.
^ Back up to ultimate darts bloke diagram
2) Simon Whitlock
Of course the greatest ever darts player needs a mullet with a four foot pony tail on the end of it.
^ Back up to ultimate darts bloke diagram
3) Jelle Klaasen
He's young, he's not fat and his lady friend isn't a bogger. It's difficult to tell if
he's a real darts player, but since he's world champ our ultimate darts bloke will have his left
ear lobe.
^ Back up to ultimate darts bloke diagram
4) Phil Taylor
World champion for a record 36 times. Our ultimate player obviously needs Phil's throwing arm.
^ Back up to ultimate darts bloke diagram
5) Raymond van Barneveld
The other multiple world champ. Obviously his magic power is his immense amount of sweat,
so that's what our ultimate player will need too.
^ Back up to ultimate darts bloke diagram
6) Bobby George
The man, the legend. No darts player would be complete without the bling, and Bobby is
undoubtedly the king of darts bling. Ray Stubbs is totally his bitch!
^ Back up to ultimate darts bloke diagram
7) Andy Fordham
Truly a king among men. This guy has perfected the art of the darts beer belly.
He could easily eat Jeller Klaasen for lunch, still have room for 20 pints, and then start
on Co Stompe.
^ Back up to ultimate darts bloke diagram
8) Ted Hankey
Well we don't really need it but we thought we'd give Ted's extremely low buttoned shirt
a special mention. Uuuuugh.
^ Back up to ultimate darts bloke diagram
9) John "Boy" Walton
And just to complete the ultimate darts player ever, John "Boy" Walton's tiny cock.
^ Back up to ultimate darts bloke diagram
Think we've missed something out? Well tell us at
cant-beat-a-bit-of-bully@randomshite.co.uk
