Tribute To Thatcher

Early Years
She was born in 1925 to her mother and father. She liked it that way, none of this liberal nonsense.  In her primary school years she experience a terrifying episode when Timmy Clark, the class clown peed in her milk, something that would greatly influence her politics in later life.

Formative Years
Leaving school with an O-Level in Metalwork and Witchcraft, she went on to study ice-cream at University, finally leaving with a 2:2 in Ice-Cream and Media.  At that time the war was kicking off and there was a shortage of ice-cream because Hitler had his eyes on the Belgian ice-cream factories - if they fell, surely Russia would follow.  Anyway, at the time the industry was male dominated and a young Maggie found it difficult to make a name for herself, despite her great idea for a mince flavoured screw-ball with a meatball at the bottom.

Meeting Denis
It's said that behind every good man there's a good woman.  That sentiment falls down here on all counts.  Denis was into domination and Maggie was into dominating.  Some of the welts he got from her hand-bagging him during a heavy session, woooooeeeee!  The results of their deviance was Carol and her evil twin Mark.

Maggie Meets Politics, Politics Is Scared, Politics Runs Away
The young couple decided to set up their own ice-cream parlour, however it became increasingly difficult to get a good supply of coal to keep the ice-cream making business going.  This enraged Maggie and she vowed to crush anyone associated with coal.  She ran for election on an anti-coal ticket and entered parliament with all handbags blazing.

Into Power
With her special brand of womanly charm she won the hearts of her party and was elected its leader.  She swept to power in 1979 and set about crushing the working classes... I mean streamlining the economy, stopping only to sink any Argy ships that got in her way.  Her greatest controversy was the tabloid rumour that she was about to have a sex change, to which she famously replied, "The lady's not for turning".

Out Of Power
She was finally ousted as Prime Minister in 1990 by Michael Hesselhoff, but plotted for many years on how she would get back into power.  Her plan finally succeeded when she died in 1993.  Her brain was transplanted into a young lawyer type who was rising through the ranks of the Labour Party.

Back Into Power
She did a deal with Gordon Brownpants to become Labour leader (well a deal in so far as she said she'd grab his balls and nut him in the face if he fucked with her).  She went on to win a further three general elections, dealing a crushing blow to the bastards who had ousted her all those years ago.  No doubt she had fun on the way though - plenty of wars, foundation hospitals, tuition fees, privatising the underground, selling off Wales to British American Tobacco.  Ah, crazy, crazy times.

The Future
Where to next?  Who knows?  Maybe one day she'll settle down and finally make that mince screw-ball she always dreamed of.  Until then, we salute you Maggie.  With our middle finger.