Things To Know About Tammy Bowe

Tommy Bowe Previous years have seen much unwarranted criticism of the lovely Tammy Bowe from people who are clearly jealous that Tammy Bowe is such a great lad. Well we hope they have all shut the fuck up now that Tammy Bowe and his lovely hair have swept Ireland to 6 Nations glory.

Why is it called the 6 Nations? Well, because it takes the capacity of 6 whole nations to contain the all round brilliance of Tammy Bowe. Bet you didn’t know that. In fact, people deserve to know more about Tammy Bowe, so here’s a list of other facts about Tammy Bowe that you ought to know...

Tammy Bowe's tears taste like ice-cream, but only Ronan O'Gara knows this for sure.
When Tammy Bowe was 15 he got his head trapped in a washing machine.
Tammy Bowe always wipes his arse with his left hand, he doesn’t want stink on his try hand.
Only one of Tammy Bowe's testicles is shaped like a rugby ball, the other is round like a GAAAAA ball.
Tammy Bowe's car has two speeds, Scrum and Try Score.
Tammy Bowe once played a rugby match and a GAAAAA match at the same time, and got the winning score in both.
Tammy Bowe is sponsored by Tunnock's Tea Cakes - "The Cake of Real Sportsmen".
Tammy Bowe has watched every single episode of The Late Late Show, and is happy that Pat Kenny is "fucking off with Keegan".
Tammy Bowe once got his team 5 points for a try – despite it being a GAAAAA match. The referee couldn't find it in his heart to disallow it, because he was mesmerised by Tammy Bowe's lovely eyes.
Tammy Bowe is the only man on Earth who can get away with tickling Paul O’Connell.
Tammy Bowe shaves using marshmallows.
Tammy Bowe pronounces lollypop as "wowwypop". Awk, isn't he cute.
From the ages of 5 to 7 Tammy Bowe's favourite animal was the Tiger.
Tammy Bowe is suing the following people for copyright infringement on his name: Tammy Wynette, David Bowie, Bill Gates.
Tammy Bowe has named a certain part of his body "The Big Bowe", it is his left ear lobe.
Tammy Bowe once petted a cat until it went bald.
When Tammy Bowe gets an erection he shouts, "thunder... thunder!.. Thundercats!.. BOOWWWWE!!"

Instead of sending your letters to Santa this year, why not send them to
tommy-bowe@randomshite.co.uk