The Turtle Turns

David Trimble, Deputy Nobel Peace Prize winner, has announced he is to switch sides and join Sinn Fein.  No he's not a big smelly Lundy, it's a natural move he says, since they now stand for everything he does - the Union is safe, they sit in a partitionist government, have surrendered their weapons and love the police.

As part of the move he is also joining the IRA army council (they haven't gone away you know) where he's hoping to bring the same kind of dynamism he brought to the UUP for so many years, i.e. lead it to its ultimate demise, thus securing the Union forever – he's always been a masterful tactician.

Earlier today a DUP bus was seen arriving outside Cunningham House to shouts of, "Where's David?", to which the tumbleweed made no reply.  So then they went to DUP HQ and shouted, "Where's Jim Allister?"  You can take the boy out of the protest but you can’t take the protest out of the boy.

If you wan't to switch sides email turtle-power@randomshite.co.uk