The Special One

So it finally happened, after months of infighting at Chelsea the Special One has boarded the special bus and left Stamford Bridge.  What could have led to such an event?  Rumours are spreading like foot and mouth through England, the most popular of which being that he left because Drogba wouldn’t have a bath with him.

So what next for Mourhino?  Of course it’s book time!  He'll be releasing a tell all about his time at Chelsea, hopefully with graphic details about the training sessions where Terry made Lampard cry like the fucking pussy he is.  We've done some of our trademark snooping and found out the proposed chapter titles for the book:

Chapter 1:    Humble beginning - I was born in manger.
Chapter 2:    School days - The teacher knows nothing.
Chapter 3:    Becoming specialer than the rest.
Chapter 4:    Too special to play football.
Chapter 5:    The Bobby Robson years – Who is this old guy?
Chapter 6:    Benfica then União de Leiria – Polishing a turd.
Chapter 7:    The Porto years – My unparalleled European domination.
Chapter 8:    Chelsea - Being even more spectacularly special.
Chapter 9:    Frank Lampard's tiny penis – Nothing special.
Chapter 10:  Too special for Chelsea - Fuck Roman, I love my dog.
Chapter 11:  Death and resurrection.

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