The Life And Times Of Rummy
There are things we know about Rummy. There are things we don’t know about Rummy. There
are also things we know we don’t know about Rummy but don’t know if he knows that we don’t know if
he knows.
Poor old Rummy. When your boss gives you a tub of play-dough and asks you to make him a
chocolate cake, you can pretty much say from the start that you are fucked, but not Rummy. He
diligently went about his business, and where did it get him? Fucking Baghdad.
He's now been given the boot from his job as Secretary of Defense and also from his role as
Dictionary Advisor to the Prezident. Yet we shouldn't really be surprised, the human
Titanic that is Donald Henry Rumsfeld has had a host of major fuck ups in his career, and
we're here to bring you the lowlights of it:
Born in sleazy diner in 1932, Rummy is of German extraction. We could suggest a Nazi
link here, but we're above that and will just let the suggestion sit in your head for now.
Rummy went to school, where he avoided looking at pornography because he was a pussy.
He joined the Navy, but left before a war started, again because he was a pussy.
He went into politics with the Republican Party, which surprised many who thought that the
Democratic Party would have been a more natural choice for him given that he was a pussy.
He worked for Nixon when he was President and made a real balls of that for Trickie Dickie.
He worked for President Ford, but Ford didn’t know he was President, so Rummy spent most of
his time selling Fords, and he made a balls of that.
Regan then sent him off to the Middle East, which was a lovely peaceful place at the time,
where everyone would dance through the fields together, singing and being merry. Until
Rummy started to advise Saddam on military strategy.
In the 90's the Democrats took over and Rummy went on holiday for 8 years, happy in the
knowledge that he had made a balls of everything he had ever done. He even wore
sun-block the whole time because he is a pussy.
When Dubya took over he wanted a war. He picked Iraq on the map (he thought it was
New Zealand) and launched the attack, and who better to lead a war with Saddam, yes, the
man who advised him on military strategy. So Rummy had a new job.
Rummy, an incompetent ballbag and a pussy – but at least he
never shot an elderly
friend in the face. Wwwweaaagghhhh!
cheneys-got-a-gun@randomshite.co.uk
