Steve McManager

So eventually Steve McClaren has been named the next England manager.  It is thought the deciding factor that swung the decision in his favour was that he might actually take the job.  However Random Shite fans are outraged, as our exclusive poll reveals that currently 101% of people* would prefer Saddam Hussein to take charge of the team.

Some of Saddam's detractors claim while he performed strongly against many of his local rivals in the 80's and 90's with some good attacking displays, his defence was a shambles when he recently put out a team against America.  He does however have much experience with his football stars breaking bones close to big games, although usually it was his son Uday breaking them afterwards with big sticks.

Meanwhile a leak in the FA has made Faria Ali Baba's old office quite wet.  The leak has also revealed that during Saddam's interview, which was conducted by video link from his Yankee jail cell, he said he did not recognise England as a football team, and that Allah had sent him down to "kick ass".  This still put him above Alan Curbishley in the FA's list of candidates.

Possible replacements lined up for Middlesbrough include Colonel Gaddafi and Ruth Badger.  Steve Gibson will host a program on Channel 5 where both candidates will be put through a series of tasks where they must sell arms to paramilitaries.  The loser will get to manage Middlesbrough.

* The poll has a margin of error of +/-10%, all calls will be charged.

If you wish you had been offered the England job, let us know at
now-im-fucking-stuck-at-bolton@randomshite.co.uk