Sports Personality of the Year Awards

At a star studded gala dinner last night round at Mavis's house, we honoured our favourite sporting heroes with the inaugural Random Shite Sports Personality of the Year Awards, sponsored by Anusol and presented by Sue Barker and Jimmy Greaves.

• Best Team – Alan Shearer and an elbow in Alan Shearer's face
• Best Wanker – Roy Keane
• Best International Wanker – Roy Keane
• Best Useless Bastard – Audley Harrison
• Best Drunk Cricketer – Freddie Flintoff
• Best Freddie – Andrew Flintoff
• Best Best – George Best (Pele close 2nd)
• Best Achievement we don't care about – Anything by Ellen MacArthur
• Best Nutter – Ronnie O'Sullivan
• Best Worst Goalscorer - Peter Crouch, unfortunately he missed the awards ceremony
• Best sacking - Gazza
• Best Schumacher – Joel
• Best Shit – Paula Radcliffe
• Best Black Golfer – Vijay Singh
• Best Piece of Equipment – Toboggan
• Best Worst Longest Drawn Out Stupidest Draw Ever – World Cup

• Lifetime Achievement Award – Wayne Rooney
• Slap It Up The French Award – London 2012
• Get Off My TV Award – Garth Crooks