Specialisation, Specialisation, Specialisation
Education
politician, Angela Smithation, today made the announciation that education
specialisation would be granted fundation for certain establishmentations.
No-one has a fucking clue what this means, but we've got out our political dictionary
and discovered that she has announced that schools in Northern Ireland will be given
money to teach children. That's it more or less. There is something in there about
teaching "specialisations" in certain schools, and while this usually means that a
school specialises in Fudball or Ruger-buggery, it has now been spread to teach other
things. Does anyone else think this is a load of crap? Anyway, while Angela was
taking a piss we "borrowed" her list of new specialist subjects which will be
taught poorly in the 12 selected schools.
- ASBO Dodging - Where pupils will be taught how to go incognito when under the rules of ASBOs.
- Specialist Teenage Mother and Daughter Classes - where the two will sit their GCSE's at the same time.
- Performing Arts - Where the pupils will wear tights all the time and get beatings from the teachers in the playground rather than other pupils.
- McDonalds Class - Where pupils will be taught "would you like the large meal" in different languages, including English where possible
- txt clss – Now that the English language is officially dead, pupils will be taught how to read and write with only 12 consonants and 3 numbers.
- Benefits Class – mooching off the public purse can be tricky at the best of times and even more so when you can barely spell your own name. This practical course will inform pupils about just what they’re entitled to and just how little work they need to do to get it.
- Infirmashin Teknology – Them computers are gettin' wild important. Learn all the basics: forwarding email attachments, using messenger, making illegal downloads, finding porn and running a stupid website.
If you've been educated in the specialised subject of understanding what the hell was just announced drop us a line, because we don't have a baldy notion
2-cul-4-skul@randomshite.co.uk
