Son Of A Bitch
Hello, I'm
Lisa 'Big Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner' Tarbuck and this is Kirsty ‘Fingers’ Gallacher.
Welcome to this special feature on famous sons with famous dads. What do you do when you have no
discernable talent of your own but want to make it big? That's right, leech on to daddy!
Join us as we show you a select group of famous dads and their snottery, talentless offspring.
John Paul II
Only ever got to be pope because of his famous father Pope John Paul I, who reigned in the Vatican for just 33 days, or approximately one cycle using the rhythm method.
Ian Paisley Junior
He famously pats girls on the bum. Fact.
Jesus
Claiming to be the son of God is quite a biggie, but when you can walk on water and then turn it into wine, I suppose you can claim whatever you like. Do you want to know what he was doing with himself up until he was 30 years old at the start of the Bible? Scientology.
Elroy Jetson
His TV career flopped spectacularly when his dad George's TV show was cancelled after he was caught photocopying his ass at Spacely Sprockets.
George W. Bush
He wants to be bigger than his dad in every way, so he pretends to be from Texas, starts a bigger war, racks up a bigger budget deficit and is a bigger wanker – mission accomplished George! Although he hasn’t managed to vomit on the Japanese prime minister yet.
Calum Best
He gets all the girls but he can't play football and hasn't got an airport named after himself, so a bit of a disappointment really. You could say he was second Best, although he is young and still on his first liver, so plenty of time left yet.
George Foreman Juniors I, II, III, IV & V
Although they aren't strictly famous, a final special mention must go to George Foreman, who's relentless dedication to designing the perfect grill obviously left him no time to think of names for his five sons, all of which he called George. You the man George! No, not you the other one, no... oh never mind.
Hello, Kirsty here again. We're off to a celebrity golf match now, Lisa's
doing compere
and I'm going to get my baps out. If you know any sons of bitches,
you can email son-of-a-bitch@randomshite.co.uk
