Saddam Bam Thank-You Ma'am

So it's finally underway, the 5th most important legal case of recent years. Saddam is in the dock, being accused of all sorts of mad shit over the past 25 years. Naturally, we don't give a toss, but we broke into his defence teams offices anyway and we can reveal some of the notes they have got together for his case. If you don't want to see the result look away now:
 

• He got caught up in a bad crowd.
• He went off to the shops for some mascarpone ice cream, but due to language difficulties he ended up with a massacre.
• Admits having an overdue tape from Blockbuster - but Pretty Woman is his favourite film!
• Saddam actually said, "Get me kurds and whey" but his generals thought he said, "Gas them Kurds away."
• Because of his shame at his big ugly pants, Saddam often feels the need to lash out.
• Saddam suffers from erectile difficulties on Wednesdays. He also refers to his penis as his weapon of mass destruction - which, he admits, may have led to some confusion.

 

It's lining up to be a real cracker of a match, especially when Saddam sent the whole courtroom into confusion on the first day by pleading Not Guilty, that certainly threw the Kurds amongst the riflemen.

If you have any evidence on the trial you really shouldn't be
wasting your time reading sites like this but email it to
spankthebaddictator@randomshite.co.uk