Race Riots Erupt Again

Police in England fear for the worst tonight as race riots once again plague the streets of Blighty.  It all began when two opposing gangs confronted each other about whether the wheelbarrow or three-legged race was superior.  Trouble broke out when the wheelbarrow racers began to break ranks and push over the three-legged racers, safe in the knowledge that they would never get up in time to catch them as they ran away.

Unfortunately the violence escalated as local egg and spoon racers began pelting the two mobs from a distance with plastic eggs and potatoes.  One three-legged racer called Joe Brown who didn't want to be identified, told us of his outrage, "It was a disgrace!  Spuds are a poor substitute for eggs, surely by now every school in the country should have regulation plastic eggs."  The police remain on high alert tonight as the egg and spooners remain armed with spoons and appear ready to use them.

There are also concerns of a large gathering of sack-racers returning from the tuck shop, who appear to be heading straight towards the scene.  A police spokesman indicated that if they continue with their current speed and trajectory, they should arrive in 4 to 5 days.

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