Put The Lime in the Coke, Are You Nuts?

Dave-Boy, clearly off his tits! Conservative lady in waiting, Dave-Boy Cameroon, has publicly condemned an ill-advised campaign advising young people to cut their cocaine with limes. The TV advert has a catchy song, which will prove attractive to those people already high as kites after taking a line of the white stuff. It is thought that many young people will become addicted to this deadly cocktail.

Dave-Boy said, "I am concerned that this campaign will lead to many, many careers being flushed down the toilet, like a wrap being flushed down the crappers in the Houses of Commons. I strongly advise anyone considering cutting their coke with lime, or any citrus fruit, to reconsider it. I mean at Eton, where I went to school you know, we were always told that we'd get buggered in the showers, sniff."

Are you nuts! When asked if he'd read the Beano this week Dave-Boy said, "I don't think I should need to answer such a question. I'm not saying yes and I'm not saying no, I just want to deal in coke right now." A spokesperson for Coke, who made the advert said, "What the fuck are you on about, you do know that Coke is a soft drink don’t you?"

David Davis, commenting on the downgrading of coke to a soft drink, said it was just typical of the current government’s irresponsible policies on drugs.

If you've caught Dave with a lime, we want to hear from you
i'll-grass-him-up@randomshite.co.uk