Pussy Beer

Beer was invented by God after he fucked us all out of the Garden of Eden in an effort to help us forget how shit life had just become.  For years now it has helped us forget the trials and tribulations of life, as well as who we are, how we got home and who the fuck is that?  We have even gone on to develop some tasty beverages of our own, such as wine, whiskey and even the nectar of the angels itself - Buckfast.

However, not all our intoxicating concoctions have been a success and we really pissed God off when we came up with that blasphemous pish drip that we apparently call our own.  As if Harp wasn’t bad enough, now some fanny has decided that we need 2% beer.   Why?  Apparently because men use moisturiser.  What next, low fat cigarettes?  Sugar free cocaine?  No thanks mister, go peddle your filth elsewhere.

Also we’d like to raise a few pints, sorry, points about that BBC article and their “Alcohol Facts” in particular.  First of all they say an, “Estimated 5.9 million people drink to get drunk.”  What the hell is wrong with the rest of the population? 

Then they go on to state, “Men should have 3-4 units daily.  Women should have 2-3 units daily.”  Should?  The Department of Health has certainly changed its tune, but we’re glad to see they’re finally beginning to come around to our way of thinking.

If you'd like to drink some 2% beer, email
i-am-a-pussy@randomshite.co.uk