Product Endorsements

The whole endorsement malarkey kicked off in 53BC when Julius Caesar endorsed the salad.  This enraged Brutus who ran a hot-dog stand outside Circus Maximus and hated lettuce, so he killed him with a rusty spoon.

In more recent times, big sports stars have huge sponsorship deals.  It all started in 1972 with Mary Peters’ famous jock-strap endorsement.  Sports star George Foreman also used his celebrity position as a lean, mean, grill god to launch his career in boxing.  However many never forgave him for nicking George Formby's lean, mean, grill idea.

Not all sporting endorsements are a success though.  Nobody has signed up to Peter Ebdon’s new broadband service, mostly because it’s so mother fucking slow.

The church has on occasion tried to get in on the act, but Bishop Casey’s book on the joys of celibacy never made it to a second print.

Pop stars have always been a favourite with big name brands, however one product that never really caught on was Michael Jackson's line of St. Tropez tanning essentials.  Another unfortunate marketing gaffe was the Gary Glitter Push-Pop.  It was popular with the kids, but not so much with the jury.

Politics is of course the new rock n’ roll and politicians have been keen to get in on the act.  Tony Blair has recently launched his own brand of scaffolding, for when everything is falling in around your arse.  Not to be left out, David Cameron has come out with his own brand of anti-constipation tablets, for when you’re full of shit.

Foreign politicians got in on the act too.  Bill Clinton of course launched his own brand of cigars, said to have the aroma of an "oval office" according to the advertisers.  Banned in the US however were the limited edition Yasser Arafat tea towel collection.

Careful though, not all products you see have got permission, who’ll ever forget the Gandhi machine gun.

By the way, if you’re in the Republic look out for Charlie Bird’s new fruit juice drink, "Orange Bastard".