Phoenix Gastards

So Phoenix Gas wants to jack up their prices (again), this time by 25%.  A spokesman for the company told Random Shite, "The price of oil is really high at the minute."  When we asked him what that had to do with the price of gas he said, "Listen love, we were gonna hike it up 20% last year, so just watch yerself or it'll be 30% next year."

Life might be wonderful, but you're a bunch of bollocks.

We also asked those gypes in the power industry why they were changing all our power stations over to gas, when it's getting more expensive, and the north sea is running out of gas, and we'll have to rely on gas from Russia, even though we have plenty of coal here anyway if they'd invest in the mines and decent, modern coal burning plants.  They said, "Fuck off."

Reaction outside the greater Belfast area was mixed.  Well a mix between laughing and pointing.  Paddy Joe Micky from some place living in his own filth with animals told us, "All I have to do is trek up the mountain, cut and dig turf, turn it, foot it, maybe turn it again, hope it doesn’t rain for several weeks, then clod it in a big trailer and bring it down the mountain. Who's feckin laughin’ now boy!! Yeeeeeeeooooo!!!!"

Fancy a moan?  Don't call Stephen Nolan, he
produces a plentiful supply of gas, email us instead at
i'm-old-and-going-to-freeze-to-death-this-winter@randomshite.co.uk