Past Terms Of Abuse

John Terry

You are a wanker - you are a John Terry!!

Ham faced prosto botherer

Wayne Rooney is a ham faced prosto botherer.

Green Jumper

One man's green jumper is another man's wank rag.

Duck Dentist

I really fucking hate you, you fucking Duck Dentist.

Spunkdragon

That fucking spunkdragon lifted my pint.

Shoe Fucker

Ian Botham is a shoe fucker.

Bollock Brusher

Will you get your finger out of you ear and start brushing those bollocks, you bollock brusher!

Fuck Money

Your ma owes my dog fuck money!

Boggin' Humbag

Pamela Balentine is a boggin' humbag.

Bradley Walsh

I hope you find out Bradley Walsh is your da.

Tadpole Hoarder

Put those pants back on you feckin' tadpole hoarder.

Turtle Scrotum

I'm as pleased to see you as I would be to see a turtle scrotum.

Sperm Surgeon

Look at the mess you've made you fucking sperm surgeon!

Ferret Burns

Julian Simmons' face looks like it has ferret burns.

Turd Strangler

John Motson is a turd strangler.

Grilled Monkey Spunk

Your tea tastes like grilled monkey spunk.

Cock Fudge

I'd rather eat cock fudge than that quiche.

You are the children of a dangleberry

Stop stealing my goats, you little shits. You are the children of a dangleberry.

A limp cock in your mouth

It's alright I guess.  Not as good as a blowjob, but not as bad as having a limp cock in your mouth.

Constipated Eel Farmer

As she inserted her finger his face looked like that of a Constipated Eel Farmer.