Olden Balls
Poor old David, after running about acting the fanny in an England shirt for a few years,
throwing up, faking injuries and getting sent off, he decided he didn’t want to be
captain anymore but still wanted to play because Victoria thinks he looks fit in
white. Steve McClaren however has decided that he doesn’t and has told him to
“fuck away off out of my sight."
Now Steve McClaren doesn’t know much
about football but he knows enough to see that Beckham is a bag of balls. Old
useless balls.
So now Becks has more time on his hands, Vera,
in her inaugural piece for Random Shite, has thrown together a list of things he can do
in his new spare time:
- Have an affair with one of his assistants.
- Have an affair with Gary Neville.
- Write a book about Shakespearean theatre.
- Present John Barnes football show on Channel 5.
- Find a cure for limp, unexciting hair.
Now to be fair to Vera, she's a fucking idiot, so we think this is a fair attempt.
If you agree or have any other suggestions email
bender-is-beckham@randomshite.co.uk
