30 Days in February
This time my vegelesbian wife, yes we're married now, has challenged me to spend 30 days in
February. It seems she's sick of all my endless harping on about McDonalds, I
don't hear her yapping when my cheque comes every month from the DVD sales, but anyway,
she says if I can't do it I have to spend the following 30 days eating nothing but hummus
and Quorn.
| Day 1: | This should be my easiest challenge yet. Nobody really seems to care about my 30 day shows anyway – maybe because I usually get some other lackey with a prejudice to do them while I sit on my La-z-boy chair eating burgers. All people seem to remember me for is eating McDonalds. Still perhaps there’s still time to change their minds. |
| Day 2: | Have a Micky D’s. |
| Day 7: | This is fairly easy, my left ball is a bit itchy though. |
| Day 14: | Take the wife out for a vegelesbian Valentine's Day dinner. She doesn't seem to be best pleased with the Happy Meal. In fact she now says it will be sprouts only for me until the 30 days are up. Man she's annoying. |
| Day 17: | Find out Fredrik Nyström has debunked my 30 days McDonalds-fest thing as slightly bullshit. Well Nyström, let's see who sells the most DVDs you stupid fuck! |
| Day 21: | After a week of eating nothing but sprouts you should smell the fucking farts in our house. |
| Day 22: | Go to the doctor to see if eating all these sprouts is causing long term damage to my anus. |
| Day 24: | Results come back negative. Negative and smelly. |
| Day 26: | I can't wait until this episode is over, then I can throw together, I dunno, a gay Jew and a tax dodging Arab. |
| Day 28: | Only two days to go. |
| Day 29: | Shit... |
If you think we'll ever hear from Spurglo again, email
stupid-size-me@randomshite.co.uk.
