Murals Money
In the same week as increased rates bills are dropping like unwanted bird shit
through letter boxes across the country, the elected representative of other
people, David "Handsom" Hanson, has
announced
£3.3 million for slapping paint on some paramilitary murals. Random Shite
helpfully suggests the following alternative murals:
Zinedine Zidane headbutting.
A plane taking off at the start of the 12th fortnight.
The Random Shite ladies.
Gerry Adams and Ian Paisley in a passionate clench.
A mural of a mural.
A mural of a gable wall.
Police standing watching paramilitary flags
being put on lamp posts.
Happy young Belfast people, joyriding.
A house on fire.
The fire brigade getting attacked by people
from both sides of the community.
Stormont with its doors closed.
However, in his haste to paint over these local landmarks Handsom Hanson is missing a rather
important point. It's well known that along with a disappointing drive down to
Queen's Island to see the wasteland where the Titanic was so shoddily built that it
sank on its maiden voyage, many foreign visitors like a tour round to see our
murals. As such, we estimate the cost in lost tourism will be £67 million
annually if we get rid of them.
We have a fully costed breakdown detailing
exactly how we came to this figure and will be happy to publish it when Handsom
lets us see the back of the envelope he came up with his £3.3 million on.
Send your mural ideas to
painting-over-the-cracks@randomshite.co.uk
