Mavis's Second Coming

Fuck me, I leave for a few weeks on a biscuit bender and I return to find tanks on me lawn!  Bob and Sadie, they’re lovely girls (unlike Vera who could sour lemons) but they’re total pussies, so I soon got rid of those army buggers.  Buggers in the literal sense too, I might add.

So finally order here is restored and the shite will be flowing in its usual non-coherent, pointless manner.

You may well be wondering what I’ve been doing for the last two months or you may well have stopped reading by now.  Either way, you can read all about my spiral into custard cream hell, my triumphant journey back to stardom and my new sponsorship deal to model Pound Stretcher’s autumn collection in my new genital-warts and all autobiography, Mavis: Biscuits and Blow Jobs, out now at all good book stores and several disreputable ones, like Easons.

I will be not be doing any book signing shows, book signings are for the jobless
buscuits-and-bjs@randomshite.co.uk.