Marching All The Way To The Bank
As we march into marching season, the elected representatives of someone else have
gratefully agreed to give a wad of cash
to the Orange Order, who will be happily marching all the way to the bank. Back
in Belfast our own elected, but equally useless, representatives have
not agreed
to agree to give funding to anybody.
As concerned upstanding members of the community, stop sniggering at the back, we
have decided to draft an open letter to Belfast City Council to find out just what
the fudge is going on...
Dearest Council,
How are you today? And how is young Councillor Stalford? Is he still
holding his surgery in the Orange Hall?
We have noticed the growing reports in the media that you lot are, how can we put
it, a bunch of stingy bastards. First you take money off the
Vacuum Cleaners, then you won't let the
Orangemen celebrate St. Paddy's Day with half a shandy. It leaves a few
unanswered questions:
- What have you been elected to do?
- Where is all the money going?
- Why do pineapples make Mavis' pee glow in the dark?
We have a proposal that will resolve the negative media you are getting, well
it probably won't, but it will make a few old ladies very very happy, and we all
know that's what Stalford wants.
We think you should give us a bunch of money, preferably in the form of a bunch
of blank cheques, so we can hold a Belfast Rocks march throughout the city, going
from pub to pub, possibly with a junket to Rio de Janeiro for a week.
We won't waste your time with a detailed proposal, and we wont be applying to the
fucking parades commission, we'll just tell you that you better give it to us or
we'll start pissing through your letter boxes, except Stalford, we'll be round to
the Orange Hall on Saturday to give you a special seeing to.
Lots of love,
Sadie Hastings Farquar,
Voice of the People.
Send your thoughts, and most importantly hard cash to
mavis@randomshite.co.uk
