Lenten Repentin’

Che Unlike in developed countries, there are six seasons in Northern Ulster Ireland - Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter, Marching and Lent. Right now sweets sales and sinning are down, so it must be Lent.

A few of us in Random Shite HQ are Friends-of-Jebus (we’re not telling you who, but let’s just say Mavis is a big fan of Altar boys and Altar wine) so here’s our list of things we’re doing for Lent to show Jebus just how desperate we are to get to heaven.

Give up peanut butter jelly.
Stop with the hurling, it’s camogie for gays.
Wise up and take down our Che Guevara posters.
Learn how to spell pavlova.
Learn to button up the top button of our ~~shirts~~ blouses when wearing a tie.
Realise that sexual innuendo just demeans us as people and belittles the gift of making-love, that the Lord gave us to enjoy within the sanctity of marriage.
Denounce Armagh as the arse end of the Earth.
Stop buying cheap shitty clobber from TKMaxx.
Stop secretly wanking off Jack in the boys toilets.

If you to want to get to heaven, you should really consider giving up all of the above
doin-it-4-jebus@randomshite.co.uk