It Won't Be All Write On The Night

So those lazy fucking whining bastards in Holywood, Co. Down, have decided to stop writing their usual fucking repetitive drivel, and they've packed up the canned laughter that placates their delicate, artistic egos (they even use it as an alarm call in the afternoons when they crawl from their scratcher), and they are on strike.

Their fucking job involves making shit up and writing it down and they've gone on strike.  They get paid for writing all that crap.  Do we see a penny for writing all this crap for you to drool over on your coffee breaks?  Do we fuck.  And do you see us striking?  Do you fuck.  And do you see us bathing in cold beans?  Well, yes, but you should stop staring and jump in big boy.

One writer, who was on strike, was quoted as saying, “They said nothing, you see.”

However, the writers strike is having a knock-on effect on other Holywood industries.  We spoke to local drug dealer Sebastian, who said, "Those lazy writers aren’t earning any money to buy smack off me anymore.  I've got a business to run, family to feed, the mob to pay off.  And when your regular smackheads are off the smack your income drops dramatically.  I hope they get off their arses soon and write another series of the OC or whatever bullshit teenybopper nightmare they come up with when they are off their well-fed tits."

As a result of the strike Channel 4 is being forced to run reruns of its reruns of Friends, Fraiser and the first three series of the Simpsons until further notice.  Royal Mail workers have also joined the strike in solidarity – and because they’re work shy bastards.

If you think we should join the strike email
thatcher-would-have-sorted-them-out@randomshite.co.uk