Is Football Coming Home?
London got the Olympics, it's going to completely bankrupt them, and the infrastructure isn't going to be ready, but they won it, and that's
all that matters. Now they want the World Cup. Does
anyone even remember when they hosted it before? No, literally nobody knows what year it was, or cares that Uruguay beat West Germany in
the final. But they are trying anyway, and, according to the phrase, God gets a stiffy for a trier.
This time round it's not just a case of telling FIFA that you're a colonial oppressor, this time Beckham has to get out the good hair gel and
they have to pretend that fans don't kick three shades of lions out of each other on the terraces.
Sepp Blatter is looking for any possible excuse not to let England have the World Cup. Last time he was so desperate to stop them he gave
it to South Africa which has no stadiums, no roads and Lucas Radebe. Up against them this time are:
USA
They hosted it in 1994. Big Jack Charlton hasn't been allowed back since, but Aldridge pretends he's Ian Rush when he goes
there on holiday.
Spain-Portugal
That's just cheating, two countries, well, one and a half.
Mexico
Their bid is currently fucked as nobody is allowed to talk to them, touch them or look at them.
Japan and Korea
These footballing titans co-hosted in 2002, which unless you're Theo Walcott, isn't really that long ago. Between
them they're now making separate bids for the next three World Cups. Frankly they're just rubbing England's nose in it.
Qatar
Qatar are in for the 2022 tournament, they would have entered for the 2018 one but no one has a fucking clue where it's at.
Russia
Where the game will be played as one team, sharing the ball, working together, as a team, until Stalin comes in and kills everyone.
Indonesia
You might think you're being terribly funny with your joke bid Indonesia, but look what happened to Ukraine. Think on.
If you have a patch of grass, maybe you can host it, email
56-years-of-hurt@randomshite.co.uk
