Invest NI's New Headquarters

Splash that cash! So Invest Northern Ireland have recently splashed our cash to move themselves to a new headquarters building on Bedford Street. Everyone knows the entire world has moved it's manufacturing base to China because Invest China has a kick-ass cool HQ building, so our boys weren't going to get left behind! Random Shite got an exclusive look at Invest NI's recent indulgence thrifty, long term investment, in closer detail and can reveal a few interesting facts about it.

The building has great links to public transport. In particular the public sector gravy train.
This glass bit at the front serves no apparent purpose. It is therefore of great symbolic importance.
It is built beside the old Ewarts building, itself a deserted symbol of how Belfast's old industries have gone down the pisser.
The building is heated by a seemingly undepletable form of renewable energy. The money burnt in the furnace comes from a plentiful supply known as the taxpayer.
The building has been specifically designed by Feng Shui experts to ensure that any good ideas escape immediately through the ceiling.
As a government funded body, Invest NI will ensure they follow strict equality legislation when employing people to sit at expensive desks, pushing paper in the new building. In fact, they fully intend to employ a high number of people from a group known as "Dumbasses".

If, since seeing their new building, you now feel that you want to invest in
Northern Ireland or start your own business, drop us a line at
money-well-spent@randomshite.co.uk