Internet Not What It Used To Be

Sir Tim Bruce-Lee, the inventor of the world wide web, Pop Tarts and shoe laces, is concerned that the Internet is straying from its original concept.  More and more people are using it as a means of communication or to exchange opinions and ideas - less and less is it being used for porn.

This has lead to a worrying trend for a number of concerned parties who say this slide into a pornless abyss must be halted.  Keyboard manufacturers have seen a steep decline in the number of keyboards being bought to replace old ones that won't work any more because they have become so saturated with jizz.  "I've got a family to feed," said one keyboard maker, "for fuck's sake, someone please have a wank.  We can't go on living on just Supernoodles."

Sir Tim blames Interweb chat rooms for allowing overweight nerds to find love with other overweight nerds, thus cutting down their need to use pictures of girls they will never get for stimulation.

He refused to answer questions regarding his financial stakeholds in a number of prominent porn businesses.

On a related note, he is also concerned about the increasing numbers of patients turning up at burns units after watching American Pie and assuming an apple Pop Tart would be just as good.

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