Ian Junior Wants More
After lifting a big lump of rock from the Giant’s Causeway to take home to put in our garden,
Sadie discovered another
list of things
the Son of Ian wanted from her Maj’s government hidden beneath it. We’re not sure if he
got them all, but our garden now has bits of three UNESCO world heritages sites in it, so
whatever the outcome, we’re quite pleased.
This is what his big list said:
Dear the Brits,
Listen up lads, here's more demands. Meet them now or there'll be big trouble!
- Planning permission for a hair cut for Seymour Sweeney.
- A big-ass lobster tank.
- Planning permission to wall up Iris Robinson’s face.
- Government funding for more yellow man at the Ould Lammas Fair.
- City status for Ballymoney.
- £103,000 cash from Peter Hain.
- A cryogenic machine thingymabobber to look after "me da."
- New shoes, hush puppies preferably.
- A copy of Trump the board game.
- Harriet Harman’s phone number (Phwoar!)
- Make taigs stop calling me Ian Og.
- A Kinder Surprise.
Yours Loyally,
If you're repulsed by his repulsive demands, record your repulsion by emailing
tut-tut@randomshite.co.uk
