How To Tell When Lazy Fucking Journos Are Reporting Shit That Ain't News

Lazy Journo We all know journalists are lazier than a bag full of slugs smacked up on ketamine, but with 24 hours of TV “news” to fill every day, they often get totally slack and trot out the same old formulaic fucking shite – and we should know, we do it all the time. So here’s a list of things to help you spot when Johnny reporter has been down the pub too long for his lunch and decided to file a crock of shite instead of actual news.

If a story contains the following, it ain’t news bucko:

It mentions something appearing on YouTube for the first time.
It involves photographs of weather sent in by viewers.
It mentions the Bebo or Myspace page of a person in the news.
Anything to do with "Second Life".
Anything to do with Steve Jobs.
Anything being sold on fucking eBay.
Any report about Madeline McCann unless she's been found dead or found alive.
Any report about Diana unless she's been found alive.
Anything involving a drunk/stoned/coked Prince Harry/ Pete Doherty/ Amy Winehouse
Any report than ends with “And we’d like to hear your views...”

We're on to you! So in future at least make up something.
have-we-got-no-news-for-you@randomshite.co.uk