Gordon Brownpants' Plans
Finally, after 10 years, 3 elections and 1 bum-face of a wife, Tony Blair has been dethroned,
long live King Brownpants! Obviously Gordy will want to make his own mark as supreme
ruler of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and 2/3 of Ulster.
Luckily for you, while he
was in kissing the Queen’s ring or whatever he was up to, we pulled off another patented Random
Shite Break-in™ at the Treasury and can reveal his plans for his first 100 days in office.
- Tear down those mirrors Cherie had installed on the master bedroom ceiling.
- Throw out all those stupid fucking mugs with photos of Blair’s kids on them.
- Claim that as his last act, Tony Blair cancelled Christmas.
- Reinstate Christmas – ZINGGG!!
- Probably do something about the cabinet or something.
- Finally shut down the Ministry of Sound.
- Use official PM notepaper to write a letter asking the BBC Board of Governors why the Kooks and the Killers made up approximately 68% of their Glastonbury coverage.
- Lay a trail of dog biscuits from the front door of David Blunkett’s house through his neighbour’s compost heap and into their pond.
Tell us what you think he should do
brown-is-the-new-black@randomshite.co.uk
