Gerry McKenna - The Students Friend

It's difficult being a student in today's stressful world.  The pressure of drinking lots, shagging around and annoying everyone who looks at you can get the best of them, and that's before your lectures and the tossers at the university start bitching at you about deadlines and attendance - who needs that grief?

The University of Ulster has come up with a new approach to helping students become more at ease with the university institution - Gerry McKenna, former vice chancellor, sort-of-current president, has taken the burden of becoming Mr. Student.  In this difficult and troublesome roll Mr. McKenna is trying to set an example to students of how to maximise their time at the university.  Among the tasks he has undertaken are:

• Drinking lots, mostly during the day.
• Getting money but not attending the university.
• Pissing people off.
• Not contributing anything for his house, but making sure the landlords don't throw him out.
• Driving home after getting pissed.

It is thought that Mr. McKenna will try to tell the university that he cannot come to work for a bit or hand in some of his projects because he is stressed as his girlfriend may be pregnant, but he will do everything he can to make up for it next year should he be allowed back.

Remember kids - behave yourselves around the Holylands and don't bring yourselves or your university into disrepute.  If you're in a position of authority why not email
do-as-i-say-not-as-i-do@randomshite.co.uk