Gerry Kelly Off The Telly

We are sad to hear that TV star Gerry Kelly is ending the popular Friday Night Show Kelly.  The bearded wonder has been working on the show since time began and has interviewed all the stars, from Boyzone to Ronan Keating.

However, in recent years Gerry has struggled to come to terms with the fact that Eamon Holmes is much more popular, and that Pat Kenny is more talented.  He has also had a few run-ins with the law, having been mistaken for Gerry Kelly Sinn Fein MLA on many an occasion.  We salute you Gerry, our Friday nights will be emptier without you, but we'll probably go out and get lashed instead!  Can someone send him the Telegraph's Job Finder section?

Interesting facts about Gerry Kelly:

• He first grew the beard when he was eight.
• Gerry once kissed a girl, but it was by accident.
• The show was not named after him, but after Olympic goddess, Kelly Holmes, sister of Eamon.
• Gerry has 6 toes on his left foot, but only three have appeared on TV.
• Gerry never got to meet Queen Victoria before she died.
• So far UTV have narrowed down his replacement to either Frank Mitchell or just dead air time.

Send your favourite Kelly memories to
gerry-kelly-he's-so-smelly-and-has-a-big-fat-belly-that-jiggles-like-jelly@randomshite.co.uk