Footballers Knives
If you were earning 40 squillion quid a week for running round a field and eating grass you'd be the
luckiest cow in the world. Some farm yard animals don't even have to eat grass - footballers!
With lots of money and no grass to eat, when they're not gang banging they're out buying knives. Let's
have a look at some footballers and their famous knives.
Michael OwenMichael owns your average sort of knife. A nice knife. The kind of knife you'd happily take home to yer ma.
Alan ShearerShearer owns a big dull, dependable, boring fucking knife.
David BeckhamDavid has a nice looking knife, but not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Ray ParlourRay Parlour has no knives. His wife took them all.
Gary NevilleGary Neville is more of a spoon man.
Roman AbramovichHe has lots of knives.
Emile HeskeyAt first glance Emile's knife looks good, but after a while you realise its just a big heavy, blunt useless knife.
David JamesDavid James is more of a spatula man. When he's not playing football he likes to flap his spatula aimlessly at things and miss.
OJ SimpsonWe don't recommend going anywhere near OJ's knife.
If you spot any footballers out buying knives let us know at
stabby-stabby@randomshite.co.uk
