Fish Fucks Up Forecast
Twenty years ago, Michael Fish left a bottle of milk out of the fridge and it
went sour. The following afternoon, his wife questioned him on the subject
and the bald, bespectacled meteorologist magician denied all responsibility
for the incident. Twenty years down the line, he continues to protest his
innocence, even though it was clearly him. I mean, there was nobody else
in the fucking house.
The lying cunt.
These milk rumours, along with the fact that John Kettley got his own song soon
after, led Mr. Fish to become obscenely bitter and twisted. His state of
mind was highlighted during one evening broadcast in 1991 when after losing his
magnetic wind arrows, he growled live on air, “there’ll be fucking clouds and
fucking rain... look out the window – it’s fucking winter...”
He split with his wife soon after due to “irreconcilable differences.” It
later emerged in court that during several editions of the lunchtime news bulletin,
Mr. Fish had been slipping in to Moira Stewart’s dressing room and taking liberties
with her lady garments.
If you think you can guess how Michael used to enjoy pleasuring his wife, email
fish-fingers@randomshite.co.uk
