Dick Hunt

BANG!! BANG!! Isn't shooting up shit fun?  It sure is.  And no one likes shooting up shit more than everyone's favourite dick, Dick Cheney.  That's why he took time out of his busy schedule lining his friends' pockets, to line his own pockets by releasing his first ever computer game Dick Hunt!

Level one starts with shooting quails.  Gain extra points by also shooting down doves, but make sure not to hit any hawks!  Get a super bonus 100 points for hitting Dan Quayle with a potatoe.

Level two takes place in the senate where Dick has to shoot down the opposition by telling them to "go fuck yourself".  That should be no problem.  Level three involves getting your minions to shoot attack adds spreading lies besmirching your opponent's decorated military record, despite the fact the only person you've ever shot at is a lawyer.

Get this far and in the next level you help junkies around the world shoot up by not dealing with the drug lords in Afghanistan supplying 87% of the world's heroin.  If that sounds like too much work, the next level is more fun since it simply requires shooting up your bank balance by ensuring companies that you run are given lucrative government contracts.

Getting exciting!  Well don't get too excited, you might have another heart attack.  We don't want to ruin things, but the final level takes place in the Oval Office where you have to shoot hoops with W, well sort of.  The aim of the game is to throw pretzels into the President's mouth until he chokes, dies and you assume the throne as president of the US.  Yipppeeeeee!!

Email your high scores to
donald-rumsfeld-tomb-raider@randomshite.co.uk