Dick Gere
So it’s finally happened, someone has found that they have the balls to arrest
Richard Gere.
Indian courts are after him because he tried to slip the tongue into Shilpa "Look at me now Jade,
you fat fuck" Shetty.
Why stop there? Gere has forced numerous atrocities on the world over the years,
most of which deserve him to be hung by his scrotum from the stupid new spike in the
Cathedral Quarter. But the public have the memory of a goldfish that was Yeltsined
last night. They can’t remember what Dick "Tiffany" Gere has done to us over the
years, but we've come to the rescue with a handy reminder list. Really, what would
you do without out us? You‘d be sitting in your own piss watching Trisha,
wouldn't you? You disgust me.
- Pretty Woman - A guy gets a hooker and just talks to her? How bloody boring. Maybe he was afraid because Julia Roberts is a dude.
- Always moaning on about the Dalai Lama. Well we were talking to the Dalai, Richard, and he says the spirits say you are a cunt.
- Chicago - If you ever try to sing or dance again, Mavis will get you
- Crimes against hamsters - as in eating them for every meal. Stop it.
If you know of any other crimes Richard has committed email us at
you'll-never-get-an-oscar@randomshite.co.uk
