Dealing With The 9 Lives Of A Cat
Cats are awful creatures and people who own them are obviously mentally
dysfunctional. What do mad old women always have? Cats. Not
dogs or goldfish - cats.
They are also notoriously hard to get rid of because of their 9 lives, it's like
they're all from the Clan MacLeod. So if a cat is bothering you, here's our
9 step plan to rid yourself of pussy.
- Curiosity.
- Put the cat amongst the pigeons - a thousand angry pigeons.
- Swing it around a small room.
- Skin it.
- Skin it.
- Train it to be a cat burglar and then send it around to Tony Martin's.
- Hessian bag.
- Tell it it’s a Llama every day for a year, it will eventually believe you, panic and run into the middle of the road, hopefully being hit by an oncoming truck.
- Video - it killed the radio star, so a cat should be no trouble to it at all.
If you are concerned about what you've just read, email
animal-rights-mentalist-automated-delete@randomshite.co.uk
