David Cameron Visits Northern Ireland

Last week Belfast got a visit from the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall, who toured around City Hall and the Christmas market outside.  Apparently Camilla really liked the food stalls, since she is quite partial to a bit of German sausage.  Anyway, so soon after that we have been blessed with another visit, this time from top Tory toff Dave Boy Cameron.  Mr. Cameron strongly denied he was running around the country chasing after Charlie, but he did make a few policy announcements on his vision for the future of Northern Ireland.

• He wants us to move on from ballot box and armalite politics to Punch and Judy politics.
• Free coke in schools.
• As part of agreeing with Tony Blair when he feels he his right, he agrees that Northern Ireland is a pain in the ass and full of backwards idiots.
• Wants to replace the much hated Maze Stadium idea with a grand Maze-llenium Dome project, including the partition zone, the gerrymandering zone, the troubles zone, the murder zone, the ceasefire zone, the criminality zone, the direct rule zone and the twilight zone.

After his speech Dave Boy left to try and trace some of his Irish ancestors.  Most notably Lord Snooty McSmug, who arrived in Ireland a few hundred years ago and took land from the lower classes and beat them up.

If you have any thoughts on his policies email
theyre-not-to-be-sniffed-at@randomshite.co.uk