D I V O R C E
Tammy Wynette sang about divorce, she also sang about taking on a horse,
but that recording got lost somewhere. For celebrities divorce is
the new crack, they're all at it. It's a boost to their career as it gets
them back in the news, unless you're Ray Parlour, then it just gets you
back in the job centre.
Next up for the D I V O R C E game is Roman Abillionaireovic, owner of
Chelsea, Russia and the secret of how they put the fig into fig rolls.
As we at Random Shite offer a legal service to many celebrities going
through divorce (Britney, Tom Cruise, Liz Hurley (its coming) and Liz
Taylor) we have all the detail on his divorce settlement. Lawyers
and their firms are bound by client confidentiality, however, not one of
us have a legal qualification that doesn’t involve watching Ally McBeal,
so we don’t have to conform to such draconian practices, consequently
we can reveal just what Roman is giving to his wife in the settlement
we negotiated:
- Shevchenko - He's a bag of balls for Chelsea, so she's the real loser here.
- 1 corner flag from Stamford bridge.
- Mourhino’s coat and scarf.
- Northern Moscow.
- A free kick in John Terry’s face.
- The League Cup.
She held out a few days for a better offer so we finally traded the League Cup
for a bag of nuts.
If you're going through a divorce and are getting screwed by the lazy
bitch who got a cleaner and a cook so she could lie on her fat ass
all day, email us at
ha-ha-ha@randomshite.co.uk
