CSI Belfast
Who said duffing Mark Carruthers doesn’t have its advantages? Mavis was 'visiting' him at the BBC last week and she got two great pieces of information:
- He wears a wig.
- BBC NI are launching a new police drama CSI: Belfast. It stars the bloke from Belfast who's in Neighbours as a rookie detective (Jimmy), who is learning the ropes from that woman who took over from Nuala McKeever in Give My Head Peace and then all them fucking awful ads (Betty).
Mavis stole a bit of the script from the first episode:
|
[Location: Botanic Gardens] |
|
|---|---|
| Jimmy: |
Fuck me boss, how the fuck did that cat get all the way up that
fucking tree d’ya think? |
| Betty: |
Do I look like a bloody psychic you fuckin’ twat? Dust for
prints using this expensive looking device with lots of flashing
lights on it you wee bollox. |
| Jimmy: |
Catch yourself on, I'm not doing no work, someone from the brew
office might see me and I’ll be getting no sick money next week,
do it yourself you lazy auld fart. |
| Betty: |
Do it now or I’ll come over there and give you a thumpin’! |
| Jimmy: |
Fuck me that’s not on. Sure there's no batteries in it anyway. |
|
[Suddenly a brick is thrown at them] |
|
| Jimmy: |
Piss off you spidey bastards, or I’ll get your da to you -
if you know who he is!! |
| Betty: |
Wait, look, that’s not even a cat up there, it's a fucking
plastic bag. Come on let's go down the offy, my Buckfast
is nearly done. |
We hear episode two is all about gypsies coming up from the south and stealing donkeys to order.
If you'd like Mavis to investigate your crime scene, email her now
mavis-davis-back-door-burglar@randomshite.co.uk
