Credit Crunch
Despite sounding like a cross between a bank account and some sort of wafer based confectionery,
apparently the "credit crunch" is going to affect us all.
Kellogg’s are already resizing
boxes of Crunchie Nut Cornflakes as a result of the credit crunch but we're all going to have
to tighten our belts. Cousin Vera has already had to tighten her belt due to a court order
following an "incident" in the park, but the rest of us have undertaken a number of steps in
order to see us through these lean times.
- Sadie has decided that instead of buying some much needed new bras, she will make do with strapping herself up with gaffer tape.
- Bob is going to stop buying crack, instead she's going to steal it from other crackheads - Jimmy Nesbitt take note.
- Mavis has applied for a village goat from Trócaire.
- We’ve stopped putting our money into the bank, far too risky. Instead we're investing in gambling on which bank will go cock-up next.
- Speaking of cock-up, Mavis has upped her prices and you have to bring your own Vaseline.
- Speaking of Vaseline, Vera is collecting various liquids as a means of making her own lube, if she ask for some politely decline.
- Bob claims she is now making her own compost, but in reality she just can't be arsed emptying the bin.
- At Random Shite HQ, Mavis has taken to watering down the bottled water.
- We've started selling nudie pictures of our flabby bits on eBay to generate some cash, big uptake so far, particularly from someone with the username waynerooneyilikepies1
If you're having credit problems, email your bank details to
your-details-are-perfetly-safe-with-us@randomshite.co.uk
