Cherie Blair Gets Her Tits Out*

Cherie Despite the popular belief that Cherie Blair is a money grabbing wench who can’t keep he gob shut, her new book has revealed otherwise.... oh wait, no, the complete opposite, it confirms everything.

She said the Blairs had "a mortgage the size of Mount Snowdon" on their £3.6m house in London's Connaught Square. This greatly upset her, because she actually wanted to buy and live in Mount Snowdon but Tony’s crap job wasn’t paying enough. This and other revelations have been serialised by Rupert Murdoch’s “papers”, however you’ll be glad to hear that we have our own exclusive revelations here on our “website”, if you prefer, you can turn your monitor around you can read our sports section instead.

Tony could walk on water.
Tony and Cherie didn’t hate Gordon Brown, they loved him, but couldn’t stand being around him and didn’t listen to anything he said.
Euan wasn’t drunk the night he was found in the gutters, he was smacked off his tits, and Jack Straw’s son sold it to him.
Prescott used to describe Cherie as having "tits like a racehorse".
The character "Carrie Bradshaw" from Sex and the City does not feature at all in the book, but since it’s topical at the moment we're going to include it here to get more Google hits.
Ditto for “spunky tit-wank”, except it does actually appear in the book. In the George Bush chapter.
In the early days, Kate Hoey used to sit during cabinet meetings chewing on silage and slurping molasses.
Tony only let Shaun Woodward jump from the Tories because it got him 1500 Nectar points. And because he has absolutely no political principals.
During sex when Tony is about to come he thinks of Hazel Blears.
After ten years as Prime Minister Tony saw a lot of people come and go, between ministers, world leaders, teaboys. So many in fact that early on he decided to forget his children’s names to make room for Putin, Merkel, Darling and Ian Paisley Jr. He often addresses Cherie as Robin Cook.
Cherie's first kiss was with a frying pan.
Cherie claims to prefer shopping on eBay because, "there are more perverts online, I mean, you can go into Topshop without anyone at all groping you these days, it's madness".

*By tits we mean book - hope there was no misunderstanding there.
two-blair-tits@randomshite.co.uk