Ch-Ch-Chuckle Mission
The Chuckle Brothers have
boarded
their Chuckle Plane and are chuckling their way across the Atlantic
to try and convince some well heeled yanks to part with their Benjamins and set up shop in
Chuckleland. Well it makes sense, after all, decades of their fucking sectarian bickering
has left the local economy in a state of what economists technically call “shit”. 70% of it
relies on the public sector – the rest is made up from private enterprise such as diesel or
cigarette smuggling and drug dealing. To me, to you.
Of course, it will require more than just their combined duplicitous smarm to win over Uncle Sam’s
bucks, so we’ve compiled a list of the many plus points Narn ‘Arn has to offer the discerning
prospective businessman (not businessperson – Random Shite is proving women can’t run a
profitable business).
- Recent local mass closures means there are an increasing number of empty premises available at knock-down prices.
- The fine local education system means we are strong in science – as long as you count creationism as science.
- The IRA has decommissioned its arms, so now you're only likely to get shot or blown up by the Real IRA, Continuity IRA, UVF, UDA.....
- Invest NI are wholly incompetent, so you’ll be able to squeeze cart-loads of grant dosh out of the desperados.
- We have a hard working, conscientious and reliable workforce. They’re from Poland.
And when it all goes tits up you can feck off to the Far East.
chuckle-mission@randomshite.co.uk
