Best People For Obama’s Cabinet
Former Kenyan Ambassador to America, and First President to be born outside of mainland America since Coolidge*,
Barrack Hussein Mugabe Pinochet Stalin Pol Pot Thatcher Trotsky Bin Laden Obama has been elected President of the
Free(ish) world by a relatively small number of Free World inhabitants.
So what next for the Best POTUS since the last time we said someone was the Best POTUS? No he doesn’t go
inter-railing around Europe, or on the lash in Australia for a few months. And he doesn’t go back to working
in his crystal meth lab in Chicago, he sold that before the primaries.
Now Obama has to decide who is going to do all his paperwork while he "teaches interns" in his Oval Office. No
doubt he'll choose a bunch of fuck-dicks you've never heard of, but we've put together the best list ever for
him. Read it. Then weep.
* Vermont was moved geographically in the Great Map Swindle of 1951
Interim Chief of Staff
President Harrison – He doesn’t like to hang around to much after February, so would be the perfect choice to
kick-start the term. Does tend to go on and on and on and on though, and insists on having staff meetings
outside.
Democrat/Republican Liaison Officer
Tricky Dickie Nixon – No one man, except Joe fucking Lieberman, has done more for bipartisan work than Tricky
Dickie. He even sent some people to do hoovering at Democratic headquarters once. Bless him.
Chief of Staff
Gandalf – No better man to put in charge of staffs. In them films he totally wielded that staff like a
motherfucker!
Defence Secretary
Johnny Cochrane – Nobody can defend the indefensible like Johnny C. Just what a President up to his
bollocks in shite needs.
Defense Secretary
Sissy Spacek – She has 4 S's in her name. She needs no other qualifications.
Labour Secretary
Hard working Paris Hilton – When she had that show with that other rich slut, she worked, like, really, really
hard some days.
Secretary of the Treasury
Long John Silver – Good with treasure, and also ticks the disabled box.
Special Appointment to the Department of Suck My Fat Fucking Cock
Joe Lieberman.
Special Envoy to Northern Ireland
Dick Cheney – He knows what it’s like to shoot a man in the face, so should relate to Gerry Adams (according to a
book Nelson McCausland read).
If you'd like a job in his administration, email
job-finder@randomshite.co.uk
